afterlife

Bells toll. Individuals walk out of a dense fog outside and approach the reception window of a lobby. At the window, they are directed to take a seat in the waiting room. The room fills with strangers. They sit and wait, making small talk and waiting anxiously until being called on by case workers. Taken into a small meeting room, the case worker tells each individual that he or she has died, and will soon be making the transition to the next life. Before each person can do so, however, the individual must choose one moment from their lives to take with them. The case workers have access to footage from each person's entire lives, which they can view in order to help with the decision. Once a choice has been made, the moment is recreated and captured on film. The person screens the one moment that will remain with them forever, and they then move on to the next realm.

This is the premise of the movie afterlife. I saw this movie years ago, and this question has haunted me ever since. What would my one moment be? I have only been able to narrow it down to four. What would yours be?

It is a warm spring day. I am ten. I am sitting in the crook of a tree. I have a pink flower that my father plucked from a tree tucked behind my ear. My brother Chris is climbing the tree towards me. My mother is holding a camera, waiting for us all to get into position. My father is holding Erin in his arms. He holds her up for me to grab, and she reaches for me. She clutches my arms, completely trusting of me. I position her in my lap and hold her around the waist. With my other hand, I grab the rough bark of the tree for balance. Chris crouches on the branch beside me. My father backs up just out of the shot, his arms raised towards us, ready to catch us if we fall.

Ram and I are in a rental car, driving down the highway in Arizona. I am 23. It is a hot morning in July, and we are heading out for an adventure. We are the only car on the highway. I am driving fast, weaving back and forth on the open road in time to the song on the radio - I Just Wanna Fly, by Sugar Ray. We sing and shout the words, together, looking from each other to the road in front of us. We are buffered on each side by clay colored mountains, red rock, and cactus of varying sizes. Bright blue sky stretches out endlessly above us. We are the only people left on the planet.

The warmth of the sun is beating down on my back. I am floating face down in the salty sea water. I have drifted away from the others who were on the boat with me. My arms are out at my sides, palms down, and my long-sleeved white shirt is spread out around me. The goggles are snug around my face, and I am biting the snorkel in my mouth. The even sounds of my breathing fill my ears. The ocean lulls me gently, tugging me back and forth. My eyes dart about, wanting to take in everything around me. Fish of all different shapes and colors swim lazily about me. Some are curious, and come so close that I reach my out my fingers and let them bump up against my palm. The ocean floor is about 30 feet below me. Coral and rocks form underwater cities, and I watch fish swim in and out of their corridors. I have a waterproof camera strapped to my wrist, and there is so much I want to remember that I keep clicking away. As my eye is focusing through the viewfinder, something moves slowly below me. My arms drift back to my sides and I follow the slow-moving creature swimming up from the floor of the ocean. It is a large sea turtle, swimming towards me. It moves like an underwater bird, taking slow, long swipes at the water with its fins. It turns on its side and I see its green belly. I don't want to take my eyes off of it, but I suddenly want to shout to everyone around me to come and see. I raise my head from the water and shout to the captain, who is overseeing us all from the small boat. "A sea turtle!" He blows his whistle and heads pop up all around the boat. He points in my direction and repeats, "A sea turtle!" Snorkels make their way in my direction and a flurry of fins disturb the water. I stick my head back under the surface, and am almost surprised that my turtle is still there. He swims away, and I follow his graceful movements. I dive below the surface and reach my hand out towards his patterned back. My fingertips strain to tickle his shell, but he dives down further. I stay under until I feel the need to breathe fresh air. Reluctantly, I kick back up to the surface and gulp the salty sea air. Heads are now all around me, searching for my turtle. I plant my face back in the water and look for him again, but he is gone. My heart swells with gratitude and I gaze around, anxious to see what will swim up to me next.

I wake up with a start, unsure of where I am. It is cold and dark, but I am snug under a blanket. It does not belong to me. I look across the aisle of the bus, and I see the same blanket spread across the two Filipina grandmas I met when I boarded the bus at the Port Authority six hours ago. I boarded the bus and sat right behind the bus driver, as my father had instructed me to do. I am 18, and it is my first trip alone. I am going to visit my boyfriend away at school in Montreal. I chatted with the grandmas at the start of the trip. They were going to visit their elderly sister in Canada. They were sweet and kind, sharing their food and keeping an eye on me. I am grateful for the warmth of their blanket. Everyone on the bus is asleep. I hear snoring and slow deep breathing all around me. The driver is listening to a small transistor radio. I hear its hum but can't make out any songs. On either side of the bus, tall thin trees stretch up to the lightening sky. It is just before dawn. Royal blue bleeds into magenta bleeds into maroon bleeds into pink. The trees look black against the changing sky. The sun comes up in earnest, and I blink back as light dances between the trees and reaches the right side of the bus. Mist rises from the road stretched out ahead. A nervous flutter takes flight in my chest. I am excited to see my boyfriend, but that is not what is making me wiggle in my seat. I look at the road, and see my life stretched out before me. I can do anything. I can go anywhere. I can be anyone.